Rage.
That's what I felt on the third day. Day one and day two went so smoothly, I didn't expect what was going to happen on day three. I was literally homicidal.
I was overly sensitive and extremely emotional. It felt like a mack truck hit my heart and shattered it in a million pieces. I was hurting and didn't know why. I was wondering to myself, "was this really the best idea?" I was questioning my decision on quitting smoking! Questioning a POSITIVE change. Lol. I suffer from the disease of addiction and I tell you when the disease and my mind get together because I am weak and vulnerable, they really can do some emotional and mental damage. You may feel like that's a bit dramatic, but for me...it's not. The disease is real and live and well and it will get me at my most vulnerable points.
I had to get to a meeting yesterday. The feelings I was feeling was effed up in so many ways. This came out of nowhere and I had no idea how else to deal than to surround myself with people like me.
I kept hearing, "make it 3 days and you are good!" It's a wonder I made it through day 3 without killing someone! I hope the worst is over. If it's not, someone please warn me! Matter of fact, let me warn you! Day three was the worst and if it gets worst than that.. Get out of my way!!
Stay blessed_
<3
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